Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
It's shark week go big or go home
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
