I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
