my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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