The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
he was CRYING into my vagina
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
