I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I think your dad took our porno
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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