hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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