I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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