I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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