I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
