So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
