If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
