therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
