I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Randomize