Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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