His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
