Rock
Scissors
Fuck
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
