Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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