what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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