Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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