If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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