pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize