I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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