Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
