I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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