So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
