I queefed so loud it echoed.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
