when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
