I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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