Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
