my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Everyone says I win the strip club
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
soo... how was my night?
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