Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Just puked most of my soul out..
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
