My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize