He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize