Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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