im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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