How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
