you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
