somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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