i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
