i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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