You're a womanizer and a bitch.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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