therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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