Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
