I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
