Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
