I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize