Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
