Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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