why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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