I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
