I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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