Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
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