Kiss
Puke
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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