The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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