I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
please don't ironically join a cult
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