like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
