dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Every concussion has its silver lining
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
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